Saturday, April 30, 2011

Who am i

It was just another End-of-the-project party. It did begin as one and would've ended on the same vein too. "If any event happens incident free then something is seriously wrong" apdingara Eddie Murphy law voda prime example being Gils..such things are bound to happen.

Being a total teayer (teetotaler in other words) my favourite haunt in any party would be either near the 'dessert'ed corner or the ice cream zone. This one was no exception. I was debating whether to have the gulab jamuns with icecream or without when i heard a voice sweeter than the Jamuns and chiller than the icecream.

"Excuseme..can i have a scoop of vanilla please"

"err...what?"

"oh..hmmm..enaku oru scoop ice cream please"

Manasukkul "adipaavi..english teriathunu nenachirupaalo"

"oh sure..which flavour you want..strawberry..mango..black currant"

"huh..inga vanilla flavour mattum thaana iruku?"

"oh...heehee..yeah..hmmm...athaan solla vanthen...antha flavourlaam ketratheenga..inga illainu..."

From the way she rolled her eyes it was evident that she obviously was not a fan for mokkais.

"Are you from this project..never have seen you before" she asked.

Gils mind voiceil - "Athaana..nammalalaam oru thadava paatha marakka mudiyuma. Marakkara mathiria mokka poduvom...oohhh..oru vela inga hotella vela paakravannu nenachirupaaalo..ithuku thaan mani kanakka oray edathula ninnutrukka koodathunu solrathu"

"helloo...enna dream worldla poiteengala..entha projectnu keaten"

"Intha account thaanga...neenga entha project..ungalayum ithuku minna naan paathathay illaye"

"I was at onsite for past 3 years. Got home sick. So intha project closurea saaka vachitu odi vanten. Was missing my parents and friends so much. ooopps...sorry..naan paatuka pesitruken. Didnt even ask ur name"

Was about to say "paravalla...continue" before better(grrrr) sense prevailed and said.."I the gils..recently joined this project"

"Oh..cool..tell me about yourself"

And that was the question which made the world stand still.

Tell about yourselfna ennanu solrathu? I am X years old. 18th std varaikum padichiruken. Athula 12th varaikum pass panniruken. Ipdi resumela vara mathiri oppikaratha? Illa..naan ivlo kilo weight..ivlo cm heightnu Policeku aal edukara mathiri solaratha. Illaati..naan intha technologyla pisthu..ithula gosthunu katha udratha. Poi sonnalum poruntha sollanumnu solvaangalay. Seri..Unamaya sollalaamnu..Blogla mokka podrathu..Facebook arattai..twitter tweets..itha pathilaam solli naamalay maatikaratha. Illati philosophicala ramana maharishi mathiri.. Naan yaarunu teriama thaana vidai thedi ithana naala alaiyarennu try panni paakalama? Erkanavay icecream vikkaravannu yosichitruka..aprum confirmay paniduvaa. Naan yaarna ennanu solrathu? North Indian dishu Panneer butter masalavoda nallarukum solratha..ipdi toughaana kostin ketta ennanu solrathu. Naalu choice kekalam. Apdiye 50-50 option vaangikalam. Audience poll and phone a friend lifeline keta nammala totala damage paniduvaanga. Atha mattum kekkapdaathu"

Ipdilaam decide panni oru mudivukku vanthu was about to reply to her. Paatha aala kaanum. Next day my team mate came and gave me the usual "ithelaam-engenthu-pudichitu-varanga"look.

"dei..nethu antha onsite ponnu kitta ena sonna?"

"Aiayaio..naan onnumay sollalaiye"

"Athukkay antha ponnu ivlo terror aaidcha. Intha pakkamay vara maatennu thirumba onsite poiduchaamay..apdi ennada mokka poatta"

Pesinalum prachanai aagauthu...pesalainalum prachanai aaguthu....Avvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv.....

Friday, April 22, 2011

Crazy Buggers

A half baked attempt..mimicking crazy mohan's most cherished characters. Hope to convert it into a complete episode. Ipothaiku first installment mattum :)



"Thala vali Porukka mudilada..." endru polambiavaaray vanthaan Cheenu.

"Intha Ajithuku vera velaiye illa..car oatren bike oatrennu engayachum uzhunthu vaari adi patukka vendiyathu...intha thadava enna vali??" endru ketaan Maadhu.

"ennada solra???"

"Nee thala Ajitha pathi thaana sonna?"

"Adai veena ponavanay naan en thala vali porukka mudila sonnenda"

"ohh..athenna keezha kottina chillaraya? ethuku porukitruka?"

"Aio raama..intha kazhishada pasangalodalaam enna en sera udra?"

Enters Ramanujam.

"Enna yaaru kooptukitu iruntha inga?"

"Ennamo Ram ngara pera pattaa vaangi vachirukara mathiri pesareenga. Naan Lord Rama koopten"

"Enga veetla intha mathiri perla vara sikkal thaangama thaan inga odi vanten"

"En ennachu?"

"Unga akka peraala thaan prachanaiye"

"AnuPriya ngara perla enna prachanai"

"Ponnu paaka vantha annilenthay prachanai thaan. Nalla nyabga paduthi paaru..ponnu paaka vantha anniku enga maama agasmaatha unga appa kitta "Anupriya illaya" nu ketrukaar. Unga appa atha thappa purinjikittu...evanda enna ponnai anuparia ilayanu ennaye meratrathunnu uttaaru paaru oru arai..anniki out aana speaker thaan..enga maama peru sethu maadhavan. Annilenthu Kaathu maadhavannu peray maaridithu.

"Seri..Full name naala thaana prachana varathu Anu nu kooptu po vendi thaanay"

"Nee vera...Munnadilaam vethala paaku konjam jaasthi poduven. Unga akka thitraalay solitu konjam kammi panikiten. Officela ketapo..en pondaati anumathikka matenutta..athaan kammi pannikitenn sonnatha...en pondaaati anu mathikka maatennutta nu kelapi vitutaanunga. Athu epdio iva kaathula vizha..oray ragalai aaidichi"

"Ungalukaachum paravala. Srinivaasangara pera Cheenu surikinathoda nikkama..ipolam chellama "Chee" "chee" nu koopda aarambichitaanga. Enakay Chee nu aaidithu en pera kekarapolaam"

"Intha prachanaikellaam oray vazhi. Namma pera aduthavanga maatharathuku badila naamay maathikarathu thaan."

"Super idea..ennanu maathikarathu"

"Surukkavay mudiyaathabadi moonu peru select panni vachikalam"

"Ethuku moonu peru..onnu poratha?"

"Unna chee nu solrathula thappay illa. Mundam. Naama moonu peru irukomla. Aaluku oru per. Mothama moonu peru"

"Ippidi senja enna?"

"Romba vidhyasama irukay.."Ippidi" nu oru per. Yarachum enna visarikanumna.."ennapa ipdi..epdi iruka nu thaan kekanum". Ithey pera vachikaren"

"Maadhu..naanay, kombu seevi vitta, kaala maada vittu unna mutta solven. Naan innum ideavay sollala. Namma moonu perum "A","B","C" nu per vachikita enna?" Antha pera thaan surukkavay mudiathu"

"Sooper"

(Mokkais thodarum :D)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Haiooo haiooooo

Lifela bulb vaangalaam..aana bulb vaangarathay lifea iruntha...ithelaam sagajam thaaana. Chronologically from the latest:

Bulb 1

Few days back my sis had came home for dinner and since mom was busy cooking she asked me to serve food. Ok..ok...samaikka thaanga theriyathu..sapdrathukum serve panrathukum oralavuku terium. Atleast thats what my sis also wud've thought while agreeing to allow me to serve i guess. She is very fond of paruppu podi and always complains that we dont make it enough spicy for her taste..for, urs truly, being a sweet guy :), has bit of an aversion to anything over the acceptable spiciness limit. This time mom had promised that the powder wud be to her taste. She told me its in an yellow dabba on the table. (Note this line twice. You have to revisit it in few seconds) I followed it to the letter T. Sis was happy that it was as spicy and infact bit more for her own taste and praised mom that it tasted better than the one she had bought at Ambika Appalam. When mom asked her to take it home with her, she produly claimed that she would go home and prepare it on her own. When me and mom sat for dinner, she saw the dabba on the table and asked where had i kept the paruppu podi dabba after serving sis. I told her its right in front of her. She was shocked. It was Kara podi she had prepared for mixing in Sambar and stuff :D I was laughing so much that i didnt even realise when my sis poured the remaining powder on my plate. In my defense..both the dabbas where in yellow colour. Solratha ozhunga sonna naan en sothappa poren.

Bulb 2

This one a few years back. My mom used to keep Horlicks bottle away from me as true to the ad i would eat them direct and not just that, would always leave the bottle open. Seekrama katti thatti poiduthu sollitu she would always pour the content in some other bottle and hide it from me. One day i was itching to have something sweet and silently went to the kitchen to suttufy something. I was surprised to see the horlicks bottle out in open. Secretly relishing the thought of feasting i flicked the bottle, went and locked inside the study room. In my eagerness (read greedy) to gulp it fast i took a big karandi full of it and stuffed as much as possible. Well. Oru chinna mistake aaidichi. The damned yellow powder was at it again. It was paruppu podi dabba and not horlicks :( She had prepared it afresh and the nedi was sooper strong. It took me one hour to clean the room and make it spot free from the mishap. And till date mom doesnt know the mystery of the missing podi.

Bulb 3

Ithu innum cinna vayasula. Mom used to prepare karuveppillai thogayal at home. The thicker the paste more delicious it would be. Once my cousin had came home and he was always very fond of my mom's cooking. Again..mom was bc that day on something and i was the one who served the food. Slighta spelling mistake aidichi. Instead of serving him the thogayal i served maruthaani( mehandi) which was also lying on the dinner table in a similar looking bowl. Best part was he dint realise it till two three mouthfull and luckily mom saw the bowl from which i served this time and he escaped. Ithula enna kutham solli ennanga use. Same color. Same texture. Same paathram vera. Oru appavi siruvana kurai solrathay intha ulagathoda pozhappa poachu.

Nalla serve panrathu thaan good hospitalitynu solranga. Aana athu hospitalla kondu poi udra mathiri maarita appo enna panrathu?? Haioooo...haioo....

Saturday, April 09, 2011

Meet the parents - 2

Gils: "Amma..ennama ithana neramaa coffee sooda iruku. Aaravay maatenguthu"
Mom: "Athu "SUN" rise coffeeda..lesula aarathu"
Gils: avvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv....

Meet the parents - 1

"Hey Gils..can u take care of this task for me. Got a personal work..So i am taking off for the day"
"what happened boss..why are u looking so tensed?"
"Got a call from my son's school. His principal wants to meet me"
"Huh...so why are YOU tensed. Should be your kid who should be doing ur role"
"You dunno man..in their school..they are very strict. And my kid..i am sure he wud've flunked every exam. I doubt whether he wud've written anything in the exam"
"It comes with the genes sire. Like Father Like Son ilaya"
"vilayadatha gils..i am really worried"

After lot of Pep talk and mokkai puttings..the anxious dad went to school. I asked another colleague which school that kid was studying. The reply was "ABC Primary School". First i thought i heard it wrong and then asked which class was the kid to confirm it. He replied LKG. I was like !!!@#@#@$#$%#%$. All this fuss for an LKG kid. Was about to call the guy when my phone rang. All i could hear was "Wooohoooo" followed by wild cacophony of noises. Even when India won the World cup i hadnt heard such a whoop of joy. All i could hear amidst those noise was "Mera beta pass ho gaya"

Parents these days!!!!!

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Vetri ettu thikkum ena kottu murasay

Exhilarating..Joy..Pride..Passion..Victory..ATLAST..Tears..Grit..Sadness..TENSION..Talent..Luck..Decisive..Gamble..Hiccough..Scare..Fairytale..Ultimate..GOD..Craziness..Wild..Celebration..and last but not the least..POONAM PANDEY :))

Anga anga maaney thene ponmaanay potukiteenganna..Indian Worldcup victorya celebrate panra post ready :) In the age of instant recipes and instant noodles..instant postum irukanumla :)

When Dhoni won the test series against Australia in what was Ganguly's last match as a test player, he asked Dada's to set the field for a short while. Ajay Jadeja who was in the commentary team proclaimed Dhoni as the Obama of Indian cricket, for his cleverness and maybe shades of wiliness with which he earned some brownie points. Even Ganguly was taken aback as he had claimed in previous series that Dhoni was against his inclusion in one dayers. Now the same man..whose leadership skills has been nothing short of a MBA syllabus.. has won India its second world cup trophy in a span of 4 years. Destiny. The day he held aloft the T20 WC..that day itself it has been preordained that this guy is set to go places. The fire in his eyes when he came to play at the fall of Kohli..that would've surely sent shivers down the best of bowlers. The superstitious me..never saw the dozens of singles and twos and came out to see only the boundaries and sixers :) My pet peeve is that if i see the match live..India will loose or wickets will fall and if my mom watches any match..irrespective of whatever the score is India will win :D Needless to say, i made her watch almost the whole match yesterday :D And she enjoyed it too :)

This match made me realise one more thing..the role of social networking sites. You wouldnt believe the amount of tweets and status messages in Facebook during and even after the match was over for close to two hours there were so many interesting and witty tweets that it showed the way in which future matches are going to be celebrated. People in places where there we no live feed totally thrived on the social sites. It was an heartening sight to see one mans dream come true and even though the contribution from his blade was minimal his impact on the team and the youngsters who helped in realising his dream..well..what else can be said about it. You struggling hard to win your dream is ..noteworthy at the best. But. When others strive as hard and pray for your dream to be realised..that is something which has to be cherished and celebrated. I wish my dad was there to witness this victory :( He was so passionate about the sport that more than the cricket commentary we would be watching his comments and reactions for even the minutest of glitches on the field.

And then there are the conspiracy theorists..who believe that an Indian victory was imperative, especially as the matches were being played in India and more important for the corporates who have pumped in their billions into the IPL. Imagine the fate of IPL post Indian defeat in the final. Even worse. It would've been a calamity had India lost out to Pakistan in the semis. Well..it makes interesting angle and who knows..could even be true. But who cares. India has won. And thats it :)

P.S: My fav Tweet - "Behind every successful man there is a woman. Behind Indian teams victory.. Poonam Pandey" :D