Monday, July 26, 2010

The P Factor

If there is any one letter which dominates I.T industry like anything, to me, that would be the letter "P".

Project,Process,Performance,Product,Portfolio,Position,People,Personality,Profile, Place nu "P"la start aagara pala matterla thaan (P for) pozhappay oduthu. In short..I.T would be in "Pit" without the letter "P".. contrary to the literal word :)

Aana..ithelaam vida mukkiayamaana rendu "P" factor iruku. Athaan..."POATTU KUDUKARATHU" and "PETER UDRATHU". Intha (P for)Post..is dedicated to that :)

Scenario 1:

One songi person (naanay thaan...A,B,C nu enna per poataalum..ithu naan thaanu solla poreenga..so en peraye potruen) pitiying himself over his state of life and bracing himself for the cross country multiple obstacle journey back home from office awaits his daily pickup shuttle in office entrance. He notices one creature in coolers and jerkin with wires jutting out of every possible open space in his body.

"Ithelaam pethaangala illa senjaangala. Enga veetu electricity boardla kuda ivlo wire irukaathay" nu manasukkulla yosichings.

"echuseme...wen will the cab for teynampet land here?"
"Ennnaaathu...cab land pannuma...dei..engenthuda vara nee"
"Actually i am coming directly from onsite. U know.. U S of A"
"Panguni veyil palla kaatikitu ilikuthu..ipo ethukunga jerkin"
"Actualla inga climate enaku set aagala. Oray cold. Jaladosham u see. Cold othukala. Athaan Jerkin potukitu iruken. Ithu kuda anga vanginathu thaan"
"Saravana storesla vaangina sticker kuda innum pikala. Americala vanginathunu alattala..irudi unaku iruku" nu manasukkulla garuvikitten.

Adutha naal client call. Peter mamava clientku introduce panrathukaga thaan meetingay.

"Guys..let me introduce myself. Probably neenga pesara slang US makkaluku puriathu. So you guys can note how i talk and pick it up from me" Peter maama added with a wink.

After dialling in the conference code..everyone logs in. "Hi. This is peter maama here...if i am not here...car odathu..bus odathu...avlo en..watch kooda odathu..naan avlo nallavan vallavan..matter terinjavan...blah blah blah" nu oray petero peter.

Gils looks at A.

"Why blud?"
"...shame blud" says A.

After few minutes silence from client side..client damager speaks. "Excuseme..peter mama. We dont understand local Indian languages. Can you talk in english please"
Peter mama moonjia paathu naanga siricha satham..fone mutela potrunthapo kooda cleintuku ketrukum nenakaren :D


Scenario 2:

A and B are seen staring at one client requirement doc with puzzled look on their face. Peter mama asks them.."What happened dudes..why sogam"

"Intha client requirement onnumay purila athaan"

"Isit...give it me maan..let me explain it to you...hmmmmm...so simple maaan. Client want to maatify one photo. Athuku enga aaani adicha saria irukumnu keturukaan. Ithula enna doubt. Sevuthula thaan aani adikanumnu Functional spec prepare panidunga. Technical team vanthu entha type aani..evlo peria aani..entha type suthi vachu evlo thadava adikanumnulaam avanga details fill paniduvanga. Testingku anupita matter over. Thats all. Ithku yen man ivlo worries"

A and B manasukkulla "adai...ithu engaluku teriatha...perusa vantaan solrathuku"

"Athilla maams...test case prepare pannanum. Anga thaan sikkal. Engalaam aani adichi test panrathunu oray confusiona iruku"

Peter maama looks around. Thoorathula he spots damager approaching. Udanay loud voicela..."ada...ithu kuda teriaatha. Let me take the ownership for formulating a process for this. Once its done..you can document it. Send the soft copy to me. Hard copy to client and filter copy to our damager"

Damager passes by that very instant and on hearing the filter coffee part..stands by for a minute and gives an appreciative glance at peter maama and praises him for his intiative..innovative..informative and innum ennamolaam "tives".

"cmon guys..let me show you engalaam aani adikarathunnu"

"Mudhalla ivan mandaila adikanumnda" nu A porumikittay coming.

Petermama leaves the scene. A and B are very tired after several rounds of testing. Damager comes again that side. Both look at him to get the same appreciative glance pointing to the wall..which now resembles HELLRAISER pei.

"Which fool of the idiot of the fool of the ass asked you to adichify ithana aani...remove pannu man...immediately. Client vara neramaachu"

"Sir..vanthu sir...ithelaam Unit testkaga adicha aani..ithu regression test..anga mothama moonu aani onnu mela onnu irukulla athu thaan integration test...ithula entha aaniya sir pudungarathu"

"Neenga adichathu poooravay theva illatha aani thaan. Poi ellathiyum pudungunga ponga" bellows the damager and leaves the scene.

Ithellaam terinji thaan namma munnor Aani maasamnu oru monthaiye aanikaga dedicate panirukaanga pola nu polambikittay A and B started their magathaana job from the start.

Onnu uruthi. In I.T there can never be a lead who will be "man of the masses"..there will only be "man for the bosses".

P.S: Heyyyy...ipo thaan note panen..supershanki has already crossed 400 posts :D :D avvvvvvvvvvvvv.....en paava kanakku check panna chitragupthan directa intha blogoda hit count check panna porum nenakren..avlo perai kodumai paduthiruken :D :) ithana naala en imsai ellam poruthukitta unga ellarukum oru big thanks :)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Butterfly effect?

Morning 9AM:

"Amma..intha chedi pattu poidichi polarukkay. Pora varapolaam keeruthu. Pichidutta?"

"Aaamada..poochi vantha mathiri thaan iruku. Naanum ithu vachathulenthu paakren. onnu rendu thulir thaan vanthiruku. Sunday bazaar porachay vera chedi vaangitu vanthutu itha thooki potrulaam"

Elsewhere in chennai:

"Ennamma..paappaku ipo epdiruku?"
"Innum sari aagala paati...ella doctor kitayum kaatiyaachu. Innum infection kuraira mathiri therila. Enna panrathu puriama muzhichitruken. Paappa paavam. Romba kashtapadra"
"Azhaathamma. Viboothi malli vaangi atha araichi poosu. Seekrama sari aaidum"
"Viboothi malli enga kedaikum?"
"Poo kadaila kettu paaru. T Nagarla illatha kadaiya"

Evening 7PM (outside temple):

"oru mozham poo kudunga"
Another voice "emma..viboothi malli irukka?"
"Athu kadailalaam vikka maatomma. Engayachum thottathula ketu parunga"
"Koyambedulenthu varenma.Enga thediyum kedaikala" that lady starts crying.
"Halo..neenga thappa nenakalina enga veetuku vareengala. Enga veetula viboothi malli chedi irunthuchi. Aana pookavay illa. En paiyan kitta kooda inniki thaan thooki potrulamaanu pesitrunthen. Neenga venumna enga veetuku vaanga. Athula irukara alavu poo ungaluku podhumna eduthukunga"
Both ladies rush home.
On seeing the plant that other lady begins to cry.
"Amma romba nanrima. Antha kadavulay unga uruvula vantha mathiri iruku. Inniki kaalila 7 manilenthu naan chennai poora intha pookaga suthitruken. Engayumay kedaikala. Ennada panrathunu antha kadavul kitta solli azhalaamnu thaan koviluku vanthen. Anga unga moolama antha poo kedaika saami arul purinjitaaru. Romba nanrima"
"Thankslaam ethukunga. Veetuku seekrama poi unga paapava gavininga. Ithu kuda panalaina aprum manushana poranthu enna use"

Thanna pathi perumaiaya pesinathu antha poochediku ketrucha ennanu therila..annilenthu semmaya poo pooka aarambidichi antha chedi. Veedu poora vibuthi vaasam :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Gilgorithm of a lazy day :D

Step 1: Just open one ear to the tenth shriek of your name call from mom.

Step 2: Spend the next ten minutes contemplating should you open your eyes or not.

Step 3: Open one eyelid to pre-empt any projectile coming your way with anti-projectile shield (aka) pillow. (More applicable incase if you've sibling and if they get up before you in all this ruckus)

Step 4: If answer for step 3 is YES..spend the next half hour contemplating whether you need to go to office today or take off

Step 5: Previous step will continue all the way from bed to bathroom and back and before brushing teeth the all important decision of what reason should be texted to bunk office has to be taken (The all important assumption here being..like any positive person you would decide to take off. If you are the negative kind who give up easily on earthly pleasures you can enjoy on your day off then the pseudo code ends here for you).

Step 6: Promise mom that you would wind up finishing the tasks for next ten years today itself, though she would be bright enough to spot the lie, the usual bribe of a bear hug will see you through.

Step 7: Next step would be to decide the script for the SMS to be texted to office.

Step 8: Once all the above steps are done now comes the part of fulfilling the tasks.

Step 9: Take task 1. Before even you can begin the sweet aroma from kitchen will make you apparate to the dining table even before the dish completes the travel from kitchen to the table.

Step 10: This step goes through multiple iterations and is never quite complete till all the resources are compleeeeteeeely utilised.

Step 11: Contemplate on going back to step 9. Though the thought of revisiting step 10 is enticing its laced with potential risk of getting beaten by mom.

Step 12: One look at the forlorn pillow, the famous axiom of "Do, not what you can do tommorow, today" comes to rescue. Go to step 1.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

If wishes were horses.....

Another world cup final goes into history. Couldnt help but wonder where was i same time last world cup. Pona world cup was a memorable experience. Friend veetla jollya koothadichikitu kummalam potukittu..vidia vidia watched the whole match. Match anniki evening itself assembled in that friends house. Half the time i would be in their house for my friends wife was an excellent cook and naan varenna enakaga potato roast, sambar rice athu ithunu en favourite dishesa poatu thaakiduvanga. That day we all decided to go out to Pizza hut in Bannerghetta road for dinner. Nalla round katti saaptutu went back to their place. Nalla arattai adichitu galatta pannikitu it was amazing fun and all had great time. It was on a sunday i guess and next day office poga manasillama ara thookathoda kelambi half day latea ponom :)Appo yosichi kuda paakala adutha world cupku enga yaru epdi irupomnu :) On 4 years time..one got married and has a kid.. another friend in that gang has settled in SGP and has 2 kids now (semma productivity :D ) and the third one also has a kid now. Demographye totala maaridichi :D so many changes in the span of 4 years. My TL from previous company, who was part of that group, remembered it and sent an SMS yesterday. Felt so good to see that message and also how much things have changed now :) from a group of carfree yuppies to "responsible" kudumbasthans, they've all become. Each one engaged in their own world of activities,hardly having time to meet. But we still keep in touch now over phone or mail. Would be wonderful to meet them all again with their kids in a similar environment :)I Wish that happens soon.

******

My granma is going through her last stages :( She is so sick that everyone is now waiting for the news. Whenever our landline phone rings we pick it up with trembling hands preparing for the worst :( Its so goddamn depressing and sad. Logically practically i can brace with facts that she is touching 90 and considering the sufferings she goes through daily..well i dont even want to think beyond this. She is a very stubborn women and has single handedly brought up all her 5 kids. My granpa was into wood business and it was not a very profitable one it seems. She braved through many a financial loss and still has managed to shore up her kids. I used to be amazed by her memory. She never forgets anything and has a probing analytical mind. The kind of questions she would ask would put CBI to shame :) A very strong willed person who took good care of herself when she could. She always consulted her doc and would devotedly follow the medicine course prescribed. Even a month back she used to call every single day and talk for hours with my mom. It feels as if our phone would never ring :( She has already lost most of her memory but somehow remembers my name. I can never forget that she insisted in paying the initial amount for my computer class and when i paid her back after i got my salary she refused to take back the amount. Unlike my cousins who used to pester her to buy them toys and stuff..i never used to trouble her as a kid. She is always very fond of me and my sister and very proud over whatever little things we did. Even when she is sick, if she comes to know that if i am unwell she will call up and enquire and would pray for me. Everytime when i go to meet her she will ask me to come back soon to meet her again. I wish i continue to hear her say that for a lot more time to come.

******
Did i tell u guys that my office is in another galaxy compared to my place of stay? Its almost like hundred kilometers one way and takes almost 2 hours daily to commute. If the accident prone, speed breaker infested, gruellingly slow signals dont kill you, sitting in that same position for 2 hours in that bumpy ride will.
One interstig thing about this travel are the drivers. I've met so many interesting characters till the time i joined :) Each one has become so close to me that even though i am not using their cabs whenever we meet there would be a warm exchange of greetings. Most of the cabs had radio but the kind of distance i travel, there would hardly be any signal beyond a certain limit and we would be discussing about everything under the sun to kill time. I am amazed at the resilence of some of those drivers who are the most abused lot in the organised work sector i've ever seen. They take 3 4 shifts a day without rest and if u think thats the worst..well they dont even get paid properly for their services. Some of them get paid only once in 3 months because of company policy..delay in payment and what not crap. At times money is deducted if they dont make us reach office on time. Its not that each of them is well off and are driving for pleasure. Its their only source of income and still they go through all these sufferings silently. Next time when u c a cab driver driving rashly..spare a thought for the poor guy and the kind of mental anguish he must be under. Not that i am trying to justify rash driving. But given the scenarios i get to hear from them..i wonder how they manage to concentrate on the road inspite of all this!! A big plus is the music system :) I get to play the CJ (Car Jockey) and would be belting out all my favourite numbers :) Even if i shout on top of my voice it wouldnt carry over all the noise :D So that way i manage to add to the noise pollution with my little bit of contribution :D I always wished that i should go on a long drive with blaring music and buzzzing around at 100 miles speed :D its getting fullfilled almost on a daily basis except that i am not in driver seat. Wish i've my porsche soon :)

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Gift of God

Alka's moment of glory


I think this would've been the most watched video ever from the stables of Vijay TV. Had anyone else won the title other than Alka that would've been nothing short of sacrilege. WOW. What a voice!!! What a performance. I had a shiver going through me towards the end notes. This gal has an amazing voice for her age and has been consistent throughout the entire schedule of that program. The song which she took to sing in the finals "Singara velane" from Konjum Salangai movie had always been my evergreen favourite. How many ever number of times you hear that song its so refreshing and the movie itself was no dud either. Pretty interesting one. Back to Alka. After seeing her performance i sincerely believe that apart from hardwork..which surely pays..there is something called as God's gift too and this gal has it in abundance. Wishing her all the very best. Hope to hear her soon competing against seniors :)

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes

grrrrrrrrrrr....Tenthousand Bloo blistering Barnacles and thundering typhoons to Avada Kedavra for tagging me in this tag where I am supposed to reveal all those things I have done in my life, which as a guy I am not supposed to do. I thought of skipping this one..but she threatened me tht she wud curse me to wear pink pants for the next dozen years!!! Red shirt green pant and now pink pants!!! God save my wardrobe!!

okay..now wat shud i consider as sin against my gender??!!! Rather i wud list down the sins i've done to my gender folks :D

**Shopping :D I can hear a chorus of cries from my friends when i mention this. I get "visions" as to what desing or color combo dress i would want at a given time and would hunt like hell for that particular design. Whichever bakra accompanies me on that quest would benefit loosing oodles of calories :D Will check every single factory outlet/showroom in Marathahalli and after 2 3 hours of search would call it off postponing it to Koramangala or JPNagar the next weekend. I've troubled them no end..this would be my sin numero uno :D

**Late latif :D I hate to be on time. Yes. Thats an open confession i make :) Again its not that i want to make people wait for me. Its a thrill to start late and rush against time to reach the destination :) JIT methodology :D But my roomies bore the brunt of it. Enakaga train ticket book panitu wl be waiting..wondering whether i wud be making it on time. I've troubled them no end on this. Triple g wud vouch that it continues even now :)

**Home Alone :) I can stay at home for days..without even bothering to venture out. Just give me books..some movies to watch and internet. I wont step outside. How it will be a sin against my gender? Well..none of my friends..that includes my parents too :D can never stay at home for more than few hours together. My mom till date will wonder how i manager to stay put at one place :) she would be the one to push me outside to go out and enjoy rather than staying at home :)

**RomComs :D more than action movies..i love romantic comedies. My roomies were die hard action flick crazy folks. Not that i had aversion for them..but given a choice would settle down with rom com anyday :)

**Risk avoider!! This is one point which i think would tally with this tag title. My dad always made sure that he drilled into me to become a confirmist. But me being me :) would always be the rule breaker. Even then i would never go out of my way to try any risks just to show off or anything.

**Fear :D FDR famously said "We've nothing to fear but fear itself" it was ulta for me. I used to fear everything. "Thenali" kamaloda inspiration gils thaan :D no doubt. I am not afraid to say i am afraid, still:) I used approach things tensely. Mind would be always like riot torn Kashmir..always red alert.. for the simple reason that i can never take failure lightly..especially when i knew i could've done it better. Offlate neria maariten. I have managed a bit to detach myself from my result oriented approach and enjoy what i do more.

Ok...time now to korthu uttufy peepals :)

Ramesh thala (i ejpet a laaaaaat from our thala)
rt (now this wud be a biggggggggggggggggggg list for sure :D )
Lost world (maatikiteengala :D :D )
rambam (this wud be surely an intriguing post :D )
uncanny (peruketha mathiri post irukanum soliputen :D)
G3 (LOL)
Rammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
And whoever else who visits this blog :D compulsoria intha tag postiye aagnum :D Yaam petra imsai peruga ellarum :)